When the power goes out...

What the F*ck is all this stuff on my computer?

So my power went out… I didn’t notice at first what with back-packin darkness I maintain while boldly exploring the dirty dirty depths of the interwebs. At the time I was rocking my lappy –top (It’s name is McGrubber, but that’s a different story), so battery pops in all like WHAT BIOTCH!!!

At least I have a good 2+ hours on this baby to surf the web. 0.002 seconds later my hand bitch slapped my face for my ignorance. No power. No modem, router, internets; none of em.

Crap was all I could think as the world sunk in on me. Thankfully I remembered my massive stash of all goodness. And I’m not talking about porn here (though there is a considerable amount). For the past three years I have kept a running archive of all that is the net. Thanks to a few nympho sexy add-ons I have ripped every video, copied every picture, and stored every article that titillated my very average testis.

My computers (all three of em) and my terabyte external hard drive are packed to the brim with god knows what. The story in this you ask? I can forget things faster than I can pick up a Norwegian transvestite prostitute (PRETTY DAMN FAST).

So here I sit basking in the glowing glorious screen, scanning libraries of information wondering what the heck is wrong with me.

Did I really need to have 150++ Philosaraptor quote picks?

What about a 1.4 gig file of videos and picks of little kids and animals getting high?

Conspiracy theories about an underground gay mafia? I got em. (I like to call them the pink pistols)

Am I the only person with a file titled “Things to use to spam and piss people off”?

I even keep several different files of Zombie Abraham Lincoln pics (one for each level of decay)

And what about this…

(I most defiantly don’t have the rights to this pic)

I think I might have a problem my fellow grinders. I’m hitting the delete key on this nonsense.