Scrubbing out...backwards

Yo dawgs, yo, let me hollar at chu! Harry Pizzle is back on that ass with a mighty fighty fine tourney report for y'alls.

El BeginningO
The mystery begins on Friday morning, when we're scheduled to roll out. Big Willy is slated to pick up your boy, but when the knock comes, he pulled a fast one and was really Questionable Snax. Seemed they pulled a Houdini on me. We head out, and quickly assemble at El Casa del Willy. We waste no time high-tailing it out to Hastings, where we begin loitering as hard as we can. Maintaining a respectful distance from the local garden, where a king of dogs has taken up residence, we are pleasantly surprised by the arrival of dancing girls. Sometimes, the jam just puts itself in the backpack, I guess. After their unfortunate departure, we agree to upgrade Sandbag into the King of Dogs for the trip.

Finally, the Dutch Rudder arrives and we pile into the WobbleCar to pick up Sandbag. Our love for the King of Dogs was unrequited, so Sandbag will have to do. After scooping him up, we have to go to Snax's pad, as he forgot his bread. Never could he leave town without it, and never would we ask him to. That's not how fellow GrindCity-ers get down.

As we get out of B-Town, the WobbleCar drops its disguise and reveals itself. For those of us that have driven with the Jay S.s and the Josh M.s of the world before, this is a super upgrade. Sandbag and Dutch, however, are fazed at best. About this time it is agreed that shitting oneself is the man equivalent of womanish crying.

The First
Having mastered the WobbleCar, we are making good time Southwards. The scenery is flying past, the ridiculous mashups are playing, and all is well in the world. Then Dutch decides to kill us all. He claims to have seen some snow boobs that caught his attention, but none of the rest of us saw them, so we're pretty sure he's on crack. While distracted, he continues going straight while the road curves right, and we show the shoulder who's boss. The LEFT shoulder of the road, that is. Yeah.

The Store
As we're pulling into some village or other, we decide to stop and check the local store for treasure. Snax has the name, but not the location of this arena of battle, so he gives them a call to see what's what. They tell him to go towards the mountains, and he decides this is enough information, and hangs up. Snax 0, Not Snax 1. I give the dude a call myself, and he says the address is 42. We're on the 4000 block, and getting higher, so we have a ways to go. Upon arrival where 42 ought to be, we see nothing. Life, the Universe, and Everything my ass. Dutchy hollars back at the store, and this time dude says its 4200, so we get to turn around again. Awesome. We finally make it to the place to be, only to find out its anything but the place to be. Fail.

The Store, part two
We get directions to another store, hit it up, and the rapeage begins. Solid.

Casa
We eventually make it to Dutch's pad, where we stop, drop, shut 'em down and open up shop. Thats how GCers roll. We top the Albino Rhino's record of providing three beautiful garages, as we find there are FOUR beautiful garages waiting for us. Ding, Lightning Round! Also, he has a wicked hot sister. Make sure you mention that to him- he likes to hear about it.
Breakfast is provided, is awesome.

The tournament
Harry Pizzle does some winning, the rest of the crew drag down his team average. Unfortunate.

Oh, and somewhere in there Snax decides to kill us all too.

There you have it folks- another weekend, more shenanigans, and the Grind City Crew continues to jam jam in backpacks.

Harry Pizzle 7639, signing off.